A letter to my Anxiety

As the description of this blog so nicely points out, this is a place for me to not only share my opinion on movies, music, etc., but also to share my thoughts. Today I was in class, when the teacher called on me and as usual my anxiety gained control of my brain and made me look pretty foolish. As I was reflecting on the five minute failure I found myself getting more and more angry. I put my pen to paper (which was supposed to be used for notes, but oh well) and wrote this:


cut these strings
let me walk alone
I can stand without you
no need to watch over my shoulder
no need to whisper in my ear
Do not tell me when I am wrong
Do not pull me and twist me
to show that you rule over me.


cut these strings
I'm not your puppet
I can make a choice
I can be imperfect
humans make mistakes
humans move on
Do not make me repeat the pain
Do not hold me in shame
to relive the flush and anguish.


cut these strings
let me walk alone
I can be confident
I can bounce back
drop the controls
give me a chance to be on my own
Do not throw me down in anger
Do not walk me, trip me,
to prove I cannot do it.


cut these strings.

Finding Your Voice

Finding Your Voice

Creating Yourself in the Blog World

I suppose, since this is my first ever blog post for the public world I should introduce myself to you. Which leaves me staring at the keyboard for an hour repeating the question: "Who am I now that I have a blog?"

According to my media writing course my voice should be a portrayal of the company I am working for, which is currently me. Therefore I suppose my voice for this blog will involve many puns and musical theater references (proof of this last one is found above). However, I am not only my puns, I am also a lover of young adult fiction, bad romantic comedies, and a creative writer. Once again, who am I?

Starting to think the identity crisis is over, I'm secretly prisoner 24601 from Victor Hugo's Les Miserablés. On the one hand this has been helpful, this will not be a blog with a serious tone. While I may address serious topics, I'll probably throw in some dark humor and use way too many gifs. Yes! Mission accomplished, I have an idea of tone for this blog.

Now that the crisis is over I shall finally introduce myself. My name is Anastasia Pauluk and I am a graduating senior at the College of Saint Benedict (thank you, thank you so much). I am a Communication major, English and Theology double minor with an intense love for music. Bassoon playing, reading obsessively, watching too much Netflix, and singing power ballads are only a few of my past times, I'm hoping to add blogging to the list.

By this point of the post you're probably wondering why I made this blog. I want to put my thoughts and ideas out into the world and expand my portfolio (sometimes you have to admit you really are just padding your resume). I hope that this will be an enjoyable experience for me and maybe for you as well dear reader. Now let's all collectively roll our eyes at that last sentence and get on with our lives.