A letter to my Anxiety

As the description of this blog so nicely points out, this is a place for me to not only share my opinion on movies, music, etc., but also to share my thoughts. Today I was in class, when the teacher called on me and as usual my anxiety gained control of my brain and made me look pretty foolish. As I was reflecting on the five minute failure I found myself getting more and more angry. I put my pen to paper (which was supposed to be used for notes, but oh well) and wrote this:


cut these strings
let me walk alone
I can stand without you
no need to watch over my shoulder
no need to whisper in my ear
Do not tell me when I am wrong
Do not pull me and twist me
to show that you rule over me.


cut these strings
I'm not your puppet
I can make a choice
I can be imperfect
humans make mistakes
humans move on
Do not make me repeat the pain
Do not hold me in shame
to relive the flush and anguish.


cut these strings
let me walk alone
I can be confident
I can bounce back
drop the controls
give me a chance to be on my own
Do not throw me down in anger
Do not walk me, trip me,
to prove I cannot do it.


cut these strings.


Every night I go to bed reliving a simple mistake I made that day and I know that I'm not the only person that does this. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect so that other people will accept us and in the end, we forget whose love is the most important. We forget that in order to be perfect to others we need to love who we are, who we could be. But instead we put ourselves under more and more pressure until finally we crack. I'm not writing today to give advice. I'm not writing today and to tell you how you can change the world around you. I'm writing to share a little bit of my story and to remind you that you are not alone.