This is Why No One Writes Songs About Being 23

"What do you want?"
"What can I get you?"
"What are you doing?"
"What are you looking for?"
"What things are you interested in for your future?"


I'm 23 and these are the five questions that are controlling my life. Lately this is how I've been answering them.


"A sandwich."
"That sandwich."
"Watching my life fall apart at the hands of fate."
"A nice billionaire who can allow me to not have to make big life altering decisions that will haunt me forever...or a nice, funny, cute guy."
"I just need a job, okay? I can't think about the next hour without needing to find the nearest couch and roll into a ball; don't ask about my future."


Or at least that is how I would answer them if my life was a teen movie/sitcom and I was the quirky, loudmouth girl who says everything that pops into her head. But its not. This is not a Netflix comedy and my answers mean something; so why can't I think of any?


The first people I blame are adults. The ones who say "You can be anything you want if you work hard enough."


This is not true. Here's a list of everything I can't be no matter how hard I try.

1. Any animal that's not a human
2. An act of nature; storms, cloud, etc.
3. An type of plant life
4. A priest

And lastly, a mathematician.


Look parents, past teachers, and strangers on the street! Right there! There are five things I cannot be, so lets stop telling people that they can be anything. But, I know this isn't all your fault.


Most of the blame falls on my head.


I believed you. I seriously thought that if I worked hard enough I could be anything...and believing that made me imagine every possibility so that I no longer know which path to take. There are too many roads untraveled, I want the one that will make the difference. But it has to be the right difference.


I need to know which path will lead to happiness, to success, to my own personal utopia. There are just too many paths, too many possible dead ends that I'm scared to even choose left or right.


I'm 23. I've reached what I used to consider "adulthood." I'm supposed to be running my life and know all the answers, at least that's what I used to believe, so why am I constantly being questioned. Why am I constantly plagued by questions? When does it get easier? How long are people so unsure? And lastly what...is your quest?