Dreaming

There are dreams that we know will let us down. I will never run down a hill, only to find my feet no longer brushed by grass, but rather blanketed in clouds. There are the dreams that find and destroy our sleep - cover us in a darkness without comfort or escape. Dreams that terrify us into leaving the light on, reading ourselves into exhaustion, anything we can do to avoid the screams. But then there are the day time dreams:

I will be successful.

I will own a house.

I will be a wife.

I will find a family.

I will be someone's comfort.

I will be satisfied.

I will belong.

I will achieve it all.

I will fulfill my purpose.

These are the dreams we have when our minds are busy with work, while our bodies move from action to action, doing the daily requirements to get by. These are the dreams that keep us going, the ones we are supposed to chase. But how safe is it to run after these ideas? Throwing ourselves into a void, hoping that we end up clutching the answers in our fists - finally happy. 

Dreams in the daytime are the most dangerous of all. They distract us, keep us from finding the joy in the sunlight, lock us away in "what if's." And there we are stuck. Running on treadmills of our own creation. Stuck staring at dreams broadcast upon the walls of our mind. We are forever unsatisfied. 

I want to live outside these dreams. I want to find myself in a world without the need for change. I want to be happy. But that is just a dream.