Repeating

Did it ever occur,

You could care about me?

Don’t just ask how I am or what is up?

But, listen instead of waiting to interject with your own pain.

Did it ever occur that I am here?

I have been here so long.

Listening, watching, hurting for you.

When you never felt for me.

You say I hurt you.

You say I am too out of control.

But the times I try,

You are never there.

You can’t lend a hand, because you have none to offer.

No wonder I lash out,

Desperate for your approval – attention because you use mine.

You mine me for support until I’m unable to care for even me.

No wonder I want to hurt you.

You are him.

You are him younger and disguised, but there he is.

You fill the silence with my voice.

Lean on me when the world is too much.

I am a jumping off point for your validation.

You are exactly him.

What am I supposed to learn from this lesson?

What am I supposed to change?

Do I address this?

And lose family in the meantime?

Or do I follow pattern?

And follow you?

Trying to keep my life from breaking in one more spot?

Or do I follow the crack and find the source?

No matter the cost.

What do I do,

When he is you?