Again

again
One word. Pretty simple, a word we use often, probably don't even think about the meaning anymore. Some of us, me included, have hated this word many, many times. It is a word I have often struggled with..."wasn't that good enough the first time?" "Why must I redo it," "why can't I be done now," "that's it, never doing that a second time." For most of my life I've lived in the idea that once you do something you shouldn't have to do it again or you can't do it again. Make a mistake? That's it, no more chances. Have a rough draft? That's actually your only draft, you're done. Everything had to be perfect. Everything was failed. There was never the chance to redo, correct, try again. But that's not true. This idea that I've had for so long is false. My mind made it up and lived by it for way too long. Everything, well most things, can be done again. Usually there is a chance to keep going. There's not a full stop. This is my equivalent to the semi-colon people who have considered suicide get, this is my YOLO, this is my life is beautiful, keep going. One word, not capitalized because it's not a start - it's a continuation of a journey. It's a promise that I have more than one chance. More than one chance to change my life, to become anew, to set a goal, to start. It's a vow to myself. I will be nicer, I will forgive, people make mistakes and start again. I am a person, I make mistakes, I have the chance for an again.