It's funny how quickly, in times of pain, you can lose sight of who you are. During these past six months she's watched her mother disappear into a stranger. A rare sighting of the woman she once knew leads to hope, a path that can only be followed by sorrow. But she was so distracted watching her stranger mother, that she hadn't noticed. She hadn't been able to watch herself become someone else - and now the stranger lived in her.
"Who is this new person? This woman who is so unsure, unmotivitated, and damn emotional?"
She wasn't fully aware of her possession until she found herself bawling over a diaper commercial. And suddenly she knew, this was not the person she saw in the mirror each morning...or maybe that person was no longer her. Maybe the body she saw reflected back was hers, but barely. Now it belonged to someone who was lost and searching for anything to hold onto, searching for anyone to hold her.
"Find me," she prays silently, "find me here, waiting and hoping. Find me and carry me away from all of this mess. Find me and find the one in me who is strong. Find the me that can continue to suffer without crumbling.. Find me."
Every day she pleas to the universe, to the trees, to the traffic. Every day she whispers it to the dogs passing by, the children laughing, to the clouds that fall. Every day he prays this to God, she prays this to her friends, to the world; to herself. She screams, she cries, she laughs, she keeps silent and prays. Knowing one day, one day she will be found.
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