Learning to lose

"The Art of Losing isn't hard to master."
No,
it's easy to lose.
Set your keys down and they appear somewhere else.
It's not losing that is hard -
it's admitting that you've lost.

That you've lost your phone,
lost the word
the thought
the name
your mind, memories
yourself.
To admit you've lost means to find defeat.

defeat in ever finding her again.
defeat in the idea of looking into her eyes and say -
there she is.
there's my companion,
mother,
friend.
defeat means knowing  to give up.

give up on the hope of progress
give up on the idea of sanity
give up until you run out of things to lose
give up until you can admit you're lost.
until you can admit your loss.

"the Art of Losing isn't hard to master."
Perhaps not, Elizabeth Bishop.
But learning it - that is the disaster.